At certain points in your life, you have to make dicisions that are important. That can change you life. And that will have to be the right one. I have done this a few times, like staying on at school to do my A-Levels, then what university to go to. Sometimes though a decision can be sprung on you when you really dont want it too.
After speaking to a few friends I was feeling really lost and lonely. Something that I have never felt due to all my friends and family being there, but this time was different. I went home to see everyone last week and had the best time I had had in a while, but this didnt help my problem.
I have lived in Brighton for 4 years, and I love the City, love the people and being by the seaside, but something is missing and it took a while to work it out but I think I finally have. I need to be at home for a while. There really is no place like home, and although brighton is my 'home', Kidderminster will always be my actual home. Its where i grew up, where my family are and everyone I love. Its familiar and comfortable something that I am in dire need of at the moment- some comfort.
After talking to my Mom and a few close friends,i realised that I needed to move out of Brighton soon and go home for a little bit, save and get to do the things that I want! I want to travel, go wherever, whenvere i want! And at the moment I cant do this. I feel tied down and stuck in a big hole. Its not a nice feeling and it is starting to effect me in every way of my life.
Of course, Brighton is important to me. The people here I love so much, and then theres my partner. But I cant be here much longer and need to stretch my wings! Brighton is like a trap to me at the moment,its like how i sed to feel about Kidderminster when i was 17, but at least then I hadnt experienced the outside world. I left for Uni and was so happy that I could have that time to myself, but I feel into the comfort of Brighton to easily and now it is starting to sufficate me. I dont want to start hating the city, so its time to move on.
Its a hard decision, for many reasons, but it is what i need to do to feel like me again. I want to travel the world, do silly things and be a 22 year old for a change. I just dont feel that I can do this here. So, I plan on moving on at christmas. I am not going far, and Dan says he will support me in whatever i want.
Thats my next decision to make, hopefully it'll bring back my normal self and when the next decision comes aorund I will be clear headed and ready for it.
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