Theres someone who...

There's someone who can make me smile.
There's someone who can make me cry.
There's someone who gives me butterflies and the giggles.
They mean more to me than ever thought. They make me feel alive and give me hope when i'm down, they give me something to look forward to and help me see the bright side of life.
They werent around for a while, and in that time things changed. But i hope they never leave again.
There's someone in my life that doesnt realise how special they are and how important they are to me. One day i'll tell them.

The One-Minute Writer: Today's Writing Prompt: Too much

The One-Minute Writer: Today's Writing Prompt: Too much

Too much of a person.

You can have too much time with a person, and too much time to yourself. You can have too much time to think and change and remember things that make you sad. Yet, yu can also never have too much of a good thing. Never get enough of someone and never have too much time for yourself. Its a hard balance to get right.

Moving on.

This time of year brings change. The trees start to change colour and the weather takes a turn for the worst, but I, personally, love this season! Autumn is my favourite of the 4 seasons in the year. The colours are beautiful, the weather is normally bright yet chilly and people start to think of what will happen in the new year.

Six months ago, I thought I had things planned out, but just as the weather changes, so did I and what i wanted. It turns out that something i thought i had forgotten about has come back and made me realise that its what I want in life. People have come back that I never realised how important they were and the one person I never thought I could laugh with again is closer than ever.

I'm moving away from Brighton and going back home. I never thought i would i go back. Brighton is where i needed to be, but it turns out, i'm not so happy here anymore. I've grown up, and even though Brighton is where I have done this it isnt where i can stay. Sometimes i do wish i could just run away from it all, leave without people knowing but one thing i have learnt with age is that running away from something is not always the best way. I still bottle things up, i have lots to say to many people, but sometimes i still find it easier to keep it locked up inside. I just dont like hurting people.

Going home isnt easy. It may seem like it is and people think im using it as an excuse to get away but i need to be around people that love me and can tell me what i need to do to be back to my happy self. Its a hard decision. I am leaving a lot behind but we all need to move on at some point. I feel too young to have my feet glued to the floor in one place. I need to travel, and by going home i can save to do this, finally.

I have learnt that things change. People grow up and not always in the same direction. It can sometimes take an old friend to make you realise that there is something not right, and it takes a special someone to make you feel alive again. Thats when you know its time to move on. Just like the seasons and the trees, things change.

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.

At certain points in your life, you have to make dicisions that are important. That can change you life. And that will have to be the right one. I have done this a few times, like staying on at school to do my A-Levels, then what university to go to. Sometimes though a decision can be sprung on you when you really dont want it too.

After speaking to a few friends I was feeling really lost and lonely. Something that I have never felt due to all my friends and family being there, but this time was different. I went home to see everyone last week and had the best time I had had in a while, but this didnt help my problem.

I have lived in Brighton for 4 years, and I love the City, love the people and being by the seaside, but something is missing and it took a while to work it out but I think I finally have. I need to be at home for a while. There really is no place like home, and although brighton is my 'home', Kidderminster will always be my actual home. Its where i grew up, where my family are and everyone I love. Its familiar and comfortable something that I am in dire need of at the moment- some comfort.


After talking to my Mom and a few close friends,i realised that I needed to move out of Brighton soon and go home for a little bit, save and get to do the things that I want! I want to travel, go wherever, whenvere i want! And at the moment I cant do this. I feel tied down and stuck in a big hole. Its not a nice feeling and it is starting to effect me in every way of my life.

Of course, Brighton is important to me. The people here I love so much, and then theres my partner. But I cant be here much longer and need to stretch my wings! Brighton is like a trap to me at the moment,its like how i sed to feel about Kidderminster when i was 17, but at least then I hadnt experienced the outside world. I left for Uni and was so happy that I could have that time to myself, but I feel into the comfort of Brighton to easily and now it is starting to sufficate me. I dont want to start hating the city, so its time to move on.

Its a hard decision, for many reasons, but it is what i need to do to feel like me again. I want to travel the world, do silly things and be a 22 year old for a change. I just dont feel that I can do this here. So, I plan on moving on at christmas. I am not going far, and Dan says he will support me in whatever i want.

Thats my next decision to make, hopefully it'll bring back my normal self and when the next decision comes aorund I will be clear headed and ready for it.

Lifes ups and downs.

A week ago, i was on work experience at the times newspaper and felt the happiest and best i have in ages. The week before i was in tears because i couldnt face soemthing that i knew i would have to one day- the reason is because i didnt want hurt my friends at work.

Life is full of ups and downs. Everyone can be feeling on top of the world one minute and between a rock and a hard place the next. Someone close to me lost his nan this week, something i can sympothise with after losing mine a few years back. Facing a death is one of, if not THE, hardest thing in life that anyone can go through. Losing my Nan was difficult to accept and had an impact on me like nothing else, but it was my family and friends that got me through it. I had to be the strong one for my Dad and that is what made me stand up tall and keep him together. He will be ok, i know he will, it will just take a little 'up' in his life to make him realise that she is ok now, and that he just needs to carry on with his life the way she would have wanted him too and make her proud. Thats what i have done. Nan's are always there when they are on this earth, and this doesnt change when they leave, it just changes a the way that they are present.

I realised this week that i left university a year ago, and this in turn made me realise that i had already wasted a year not really doing anything and sticking to the safe option of my current job. Thats why The Times was so important to me, and made me so happy. It made me realise that i can do someting more out there and that i shouldnt be scared of doing what i want with my life. I was able to express my love in an environment that also shared that feeling, something that i havent experienced before. This high will keep me looking for other options- as my mom says, i'm only 22, i have my career way ahead of me, but i think there is something about our age group that feels we need to rush into things.

When we are teenagers, we assume that being older is better and want to rush into things to make ourselves look and feel grown up. Like make up, clothes, boys and drink. But then when we get to our twenties, we realise that we shouldnt have rushed into these things and that the things we did we cant go back and change but we have to live with those mistakes. I had a great childhood! I wouldnt say i was ever an emotional child in an extreme way but i did do things that i wish i would have slowed down with. Silly things that i know i cant change and dont regret but think back and say 'i should have waited a little bit longer'. We all think that way sometimes though it part of the ups and downs of life. The things is we learn from them and laigh about them. I have secrets from my past but that doesnt mean that they cant stay that way, like a little treasure box locked up with my life story inside. The thing is, when my nephews are grown up, i hope they can talk to me about all the aspects of teenagers lives that are confusing and they might not understand because i know that i will have been there.

Life really is what you make it. This that have more downs than ups will get their time when they are truly happy and will look and think that it wasnt all that bad really. I am happy, i dont know whether i am the happiest i can be, but for now i guess i know that i could have it a lot worse.
It can choose your path in life, make it a good one :)

The One-Minute Writer: Today's Writing Prompt: Trust

The One-Minute Writer: Today's Writing Prompt: Trust

Trust us something between friends. family and lovers. I trust all these people in my life. Even though we have secrets between us and we may keep things inside, i know thay if i ever needed any of them. I could trust them with my life.

No chocolate for me

When I was little, I went to sunday school with my Nan. Right up until I was 15. Although nowadays I do not attend church, I still feel that I have a certain religious belief. I do not know if this is God or whether it is just a special bond that I feel between me and my Nan after she died but there is something.

So when it comes to Lent, I always try to give something up, usually chocolate, and this year is no different. Although I understand the story behind Lent and why people do it, I would not say that this is my reason for giving up. Maybe it is for more selfish reasons in that I want to prove I have self control and to give my body a rest from all the chocolate I consume on a daily basis.

My Nan was a religious lady, and someone who would do anything for anybody. When she passed away I did lose a part of my life that I had loved so much. I have always said that my Granddad was looking over me and now i realise that this is my Nan. I guess this is why I feel a connection with religion and although I do not proactice it I feel it is a part of me and everything that I do, especially when I need someone.

Lent is part of a fast that gives people an oppurtunity to clense and get satisfaction from a selfless act. Even if like me, that act is purely for you to feel good about yourself.