A week ago, i was on work experience at the times newspaper and felt the happiest and best i have in ages. The week before i was in tears because i couldnt face soemthing that i knew i would have to one day- the reason is because i didnt want hurt my friends at work.
Life is full of ups and downs. Everyone can be feeling on top of the world one minute and between a rock and a hard place the next. Someone close to me lost his nan this week, something i can sympothise with after losing mine a few years back. Facing a death is one of, if not THE, hardest thing in life that anyone can go through. Losing my Nan was difficult to accept and had an impact on me like nothing else, but it was my family and friends that got me through it. I had to be the strong one for my Dad and that is what made me stand up tall and keep him together. He will be ok, i know he will, it will just take a little 'up' in his life to make him realise that she is ok now, and that he just needs to carry on with his life the way she would have wanted him too and make her proud. Thats what i have done. Nan's are always there when they are on this earth, and this doesnt change when they leave, it just changes a the way that they are present.
I realised this week that i left university a year ago, and this in turn made me realise that i had already wasted a year not really doing anything and sticking to the safe option of my current job. Thats why The Times was so important to me, and made me so happy. It made me realise that i can do someting more out there and that i shouldnt be scared of doing what i want with my life. I was able to express my love in an environment that also shared that feeling, something that i havent experienced before. This high will keep me looking for other options- as my mom says, i'm only 22, i have my career way ahead of me, but i think there is something about our age group that feels we need to rush into things.
When we are teenagers, we assume that being older is better and want to rush into things to make ourselves look and feel grown up. Like make up, clothes, boys and drink. But then when we get to our twenties, we realise that we shouldnt have rushed into these things and that the things we did we cant go back and change but we have to live with those mistakes. I had a great childhood! I wouldnt say i was ever an emotional child in an extreme way but i did do things that i wish i would have slowed down with. Silly things that i know i cant change and dont regret but think back and say 'i should have waited a little bit longer'. We all think that way sometimes though it part of the ups and downs of life. The things is we learn from them and laigh about them. I have secrets from my past but that doesnt mean that they cant stay that way, like a little treasure box locked up with my life story inside. The thing is, when my nephews are grown up, i hope they can talk to me about all the aspects of teenagers lives that are confusing and they might not understand because i know that i will have been there.
Life really is what you make it. This that have more downs than ups will get their time when they are truly happy and will look and think that it wasnt all that bad really. I am happy, i dont know whether i am the happiest i can be, but for now i guess i know that i could have it a lot worse.
It can choose your path in life, make it a good one :)
